I probably would have laughed if you had told me six years ago that I would meet my husband on a dating website. So keep reading, I promise this won’t be a sappy story about our first date and how magical everything was, but online dating can work.
I know online dating is complex, tiring, and creepy at times. I went into it with no expectations and somehow came out of it with a husband. Every time someone asks me how we met, they are surprised when I tell them we’re an OK Cupid success story. I’m amazed, but I don’t think it was just luck. You can do some basic things to increase your chances of meeting the right person online. I know I’m biased but hear me out.
Casting the Net
You exponentially expand your options of possible dates by casting your net much further than friends, friends of friends, neighborhood bars, and people in your daily life. Online dating sites make it easier to see if you have things in common or if there are any deal-breakers. It goes beyond just the beautiful face right away.
Think about it this way: you walk into a bar and start talking to some hottie. You spend the whole night chatting and making out. You go on a few dates, and in a month, you find out that they don’t want kids, have a weird sex fetish, and hate flying on airplanes. Your dreams of traveling overseas with your children and a lifetime of missionary sex are out the window. Online dating can filter this for you.
Tell me about yourself? I wouldn’t say I like this question. Anytime someone asks me this, I want to run away or die. But, filling out your dating profile can feel the same way. It’s hard to sell yourself. Just be exactly who you are inside and out. You don’t have to have the best profile, just one that attracts the right people to you. Be open and honest but with a touch of mystery. Be modest but proud of what you’ve got.
Post accurate pictures. Please make sure they are of your current age, weight, hair, etc. Take full-body shots as well as close-ups. If someone doesn’t call you after the first date because you had posted pictures from when you were 20 pounds lighter, the person is not necessarily a shallow asshole. It was a false advertisement.
Know What You Want
Before you even go out and start shopping for a potential significant other, think about what you want and where you’re. Be honest about what kind of person you are looking for, and don’t settle. If you are not sure, most sites ask you a series of questions when signing up to get to know what you want and will match you better.
Also, fill out your complete profile. If you don’t, it makes you look dull and, on the other hand, lazy. I would skip over an empty profile because it seems like the person is not taking it seriously. I know you’re excited to start looking at profiles but first, answer as many questions as possible and be as truthful as possible.
Everyone has opinions on when and where you should meet for the first time. Many believe in meeting sooner rather than later. Chemistry online doesn’t always make a connection in real life. However, you should try to get to know each other better.
Ask actual questions and wait until the person shows some interest in who you are. When I say “interest,” I don’t mean “you look hot.” I mean engaging in the things that interest both of you. Here are a few charts that show what words, phrases, and topics work when starting to chat.
Andrew and I messaged back and forth for less than a week before we met up. We asked questions and gave detailed answers, and there was no sexting. Keep your chatting clean at first. The sexual tension increases the likelihood that your first date will end in bed. If you like the person, hold out!
Use the Phone
Before our first date, Andrew asked me for my number and called me. Yes, we spoke on the telephone. Chatting online gives you time to read, re-read and tweak your responses to make them sound exactly how you want to portray yourself. If you’re going to get to know someone, have a phone conversation. They have no time to concoct clever, perfect answers.
So yes, our first phone conversation was a little awkward, but there was a good vibe. He sounded intelligent and genuine. The fact that he asked for my number, called, and then asked me out on a date that he planned was more than most guys do.
Andrew asked me out on another date that night. I did not go home with him, but we did kiss. He had to wait a good month before I let him hide the sausage. Be safe, have fun, and have a happy date!